my ministry is my family. my family is my all. thank you Jesus... that You show me things i realise not of by my own... that i can finally answer the question of "so, what do u do in ur free time?" used to really hate it when people ask me that cuz like i'd always feel less than worth anything... like i'm very useless lidat... but just now, i had an online conversation with one of my frens.. and seriously, God really used him to speak to me... about how spending time with my family is really what i do in my free time... and he reminded me how precious it is in fact... and that people are actually envious of my family... yea man.... this is my ministry... in which i won't give the world for... everything else, be it to want to pursue dance, or piano, they are secondary... my family is my all... Another thing that he said to me that heartened me so much... is that he thinks that i'm gonna be a great wife in future... just wat i need to hear in certain period of times as now... won't elaborate though... Oh praise Jesus!!! :)

hmmm... sometimes i really wish, that i can be more adaptive in new situations... really... when i just get to noe someone ah, it's like i'm super duper quiet one... nothing to say one... and i don't like it... don't like it... was i always like that??? hmmmmmmmmmm......

okaes... it is the 2nd day of Chinese New Year... haven't gone anywhere today... going to James and Janet's house later in the evening... hmmm... basically today, i have kinda been salcking quite a bit... woke up at like 10 plus initially... then went back to sleep like several times before finally awaking at about 1 plus... then got into a bit of soci readings... then called pa up for lunch at 2 plus.. came back at about 3:30... did slightly more readings... then watched tv (while attempting to read more... to not much avail naturally...) hmmm... all this while, mummy was at her boss' house bai nianing... hmmm pity this year she refused to bring us kids there... claiming that we'd grown up already... so it'd be paiseh to go there and get ang pao... but.... seriously, her boss is quite generous.. ah well... haha
hmmm... i decided to pen this entry, cuz.... cuz.... i also dunno... think i'm just pretty bored... haha.... hmmm anyways, xuehui has just changed the layout of her blog.. making it more... anonymous... i'm considering... but then, nah i don't think i will la... thing is, i doubt there are much people reading this too so... it's ok... or maybe i'll change my mind... but till then, this layout stays... :) Basically the reason why i blog, is really to just let out certain stuff i feel in me... keeping everything to myself's really quite unhealthy... as i learnt in PL3242 too... haha... not only things which are not so pleasant, but also things which are very joyous... and like most of the time i just feel too lazy to pen in my written journal... considering the fact that typing's really easier than writing haha...
well well... yesterday, it suddenly dawned on me that my grandparents are not saved... not that i didn't noe la... but it never hit me strongly as it did yesterday... Seriously, i don't even see a nigh possiblity of Ah ma getting saved.. like she shook her head when i asked if i could pray for her concerning her rheumatitic knee which gives her so much problems... sigh... nonetheless, i do noe that my God is greater than that... and that my grandparents' salvation lies in His hands... totally... So... i shall not worry... :)
Hmmm there's another thing that's bothering me a bit... but nah i shall not talk about it... hehe.. anticlimax... anyways, i do noe, that my Jesus has everything taken care of and hence i am safe in His hands... me and my future... safe, secured! Amen!!

I'm in a dreamy mood... hmmm... was just looking thru my ac annual... nostalgia... lots of it... i really miss all the times spent there... much joy... yet... much regret... wat could i have done anyway? if only... if only... how initial fond memories can instead lead u to think of the flip side of the coin... how when u look at self u see nothing worth... nothing at all... and u see that even as u want to do sthg about it there's only so so little u can... rather, there's nothing u could do... to control, to change... u start thinking about all the better choices u could have made... if given one more try, would things change? maybe not... things beyond control... wat is popularity? it passes away. and after that where does that leave u? nowhere. lost. in transition. in a stage where u just don't noe wat to do... a strange awakening. which makes u think again whether u really ever possessed wat u thought u had... ur whole perception of urself... comes crashing down in an instant...
Praise be to God... for He provides that which does not pass away.. Joy in Him.. that is eternal... that is not temporal... Simply because nomatter what happens, He still is walking alongside together with me... I can simply go boldly to His throne of grace to obtain mercy, more than sufficient grace to carry on... to draw comfort from... He secures me in His arms... and when i find myself in His arms, nothing else matters. Even when my world threatens to crash on me, nothing matters. I just want a little longer.. a little longer.. just to feel His warmth.. His ever loving embrace... for it to never ever end... That alone is enough... enough to tell me... that everything will pass away.. And in His Love i can conquer all...
My Jesus... He romances me... My perfect love... Perfect with a huge capital P!! He's all i ask for in a man... ALL... He's the most glorious, most perfect, most handsome and charming of them all!! I am lost in His love!

okaes.... on a starting note, i'd just like to wish everyone who comes by this blog a very Special and Happy Chinese New Yr... Graced with divine favour with all friends and relatives, that everyone'd receive big big ang paos!!!!! (with big big notes too la of course haha) hmmm... and for all the gals, may God bind all the fats, calories and all unhealthy content in the yummy food we're gonna eat! Amen!! haha...
hmmm.. today, from 8-10, i went for my thai lesson... aiyoh... getting chimer each time.... gotta like come up with impromptu conversations... pressure pressure!! bleah.. But of course, my Jesus is greater than that! hmmm then after that, i went over to pgp to play badminton with jason gwen and zhiwei.. hmmm... frankly speaking, it was really fun... and like it kinda made me feel good cuz at least i'm like making up (a bit) for the oily and unhealthy foods i see myself eating tmr and the day after... Hmmm i went over to Jason's room, and.......... found that his room was really really plain... like super plain! how could anyone stay in such a plain environment... seriously, i can stand messy yet funky rooms... but neat yet plain rooms... that's another issue altogether... oh man... i seriously have a great urge to do a makeover for his room... haha!
hmmm ok, after playing like for quite a while, i went over to macs to have lunch with jo... Tat Hwan came along too... and then came zheng wei and ermm eugene... ya... the latter 2 i only knew them today... Yea... we had a blessed time... time of basically quite a bit of sharing... there was this question.. Do we hafta see the manifesto goodness of God as u confess His word in order for ur confession to come to pass, or could it come to pass just simply by confessing alone without believing? hmmm... highly debatable... On zhengwei's side, he said that it's written that God saw then He spoke... hence the need to see... On tat hwan and eugene's side, they agreed that we're made kings and priests and hence our words have authority... on Jo's side, she said it's not a matter of seeing or not; so long u have faith as a mustard seed, God sees it... and that really.. it's not a matter of faith in faith, more so a matter, as pastor put it, that as we see His grace, He sees our faith... On my part, hmmmmm.... i didn't say much... that's the thing when u're with all the bible pro people... i just said sthg like when u start confessing, eventually u'll come to believe it... nothing impactful or or like... 'hmmm revelation!'... sigh.... haha... really ah, i trust God that i'll soon reach that kinda level man... bleah... for now, it's good to just sit at His feet and listen haha... Pertaining to that question though, yea i'd think that it's really not so much an issue of whether u see or not... everyone in Christ would at least have faith as a mustard seed... and that alone is enough for God... for Him to answer prayers... Just like how i got into NUS... like, wow... i won't repeat the testimony again... but like really... He saw my faith as a mustard seed... if not i really wouldn't be where i am today man... i fell so many times... but praise God, i was still secure within the ark!
Okaes, nuff said for now... :)

hmmm... i'm kinda a teeny weeny getting sian of blogging... like not much urge to blog these days leh... plus, i really really need to get down to some serious studying.... this is so bad... i've been saying like 28439 times i wanna start mugging and like it's just so not working! i choose to blame it on the festive season... making me go into a holiday mood... not like i ever did come out of it though... heh.. hmmm today, resolving to *start* my readings............... i went over to bukit timah shopping centre instead... and shopped.... (who'd have thought there's anything nice there rite?) but, my goodness... there's this shop there... sells real nice stuffs... clothes, accessories... and like the person there was so nice to us.. (me and pa) and like gave us 30% discount off everything i bought... in the end, i bought like 3 tops and 1 skirt... which makes it such that for this new yr, i've bought 4 tops, 1 skirt and 1 dress... and i was still complaining that i can't find anything a while ago... hmmm... i really gotta stop man... and like we found so much favour that the guy gave us a card at the end which entitiles us a 20% discount each time we patronise... haha...Praise Jesus!! hmmm i am so tempted to take some pics of my clothes and post them up... but well, tht's probably mad haha... nah i shan't do that...
hmmm... haha i wish to thank God, that my parents are saved and all... cuz tht gives me the liberty to wear any colour i want... (3 out of 4 tops are white haha) If it was last time... possibly not! haha...
Okaes i shall stop raving on now... gotta go meet jason and gwen to do our soci observation assignment... hmmphh... well at least tht's doing some work boy... and i pray it shall be fruitful!! Amen!!! haha... :)

hmmm... i feel so blessed... really... so blessed simply to have Jesus in my life... really really!! Thank You Lord.... Thank You so much!!!