hmmm... indeed i haven't been updating this blog for just about the longest time. haven't had the time. my projects have been exasperating! initially i thought that when i finish being busy with my projects i'd be very happy. Now, that most of it is more or less done, i'm instead having feelings counter to what i'd expected. Disclaimer. It's not that i'm not happy. Only that, well i find myself entering into a state of 'now what'. Am i the only one feeling this way? or can someone relate to what i'm saying? i've been devoting all my time - whatever that's left of it after considering school time, church time, work time, - into doing my seemingly endless stream of projects, without having the slightest time to take out any form of revision material to read much less revise; and then finally when the projects come to a more or less standstill and finality, when i suddenly have the time at hand to study the texts, i enter a state of 'i-don't-want-to-do-anything-NUS-related-now' So, visavis. describe this feeling. ok i have no clue why i'm using visavis in this context. Just sthg i just feel like saying out of the blue. Heck. must i explain? heh.
Oh well, since i'm stuck in this weird state now, i might as well rave on here, and just enjoy His presence. i am curious myself, to see what i'd be led to write following this.
Foremost, i'd like to make a statement that perhaps only i would understand when/if i ever do look back at this entry. that is, i was not ready at 17, i still am not ready at 20, and i have no idea if i ever would be, much as i'd like to be. Jesus has to help me. period. that's all i'd say. Moving rite along.
I'd like to say, that God has been wonderfully good to His beloved Pearlyn! Been so blessed! Just looking at this week, i've indeed been so undeniably blessed. Learning Ladder is such a blessing to me. The precious little ones are SUCH adorable blessings. I feel like they're just kisses from Heaven for me, His Pearlyn. Life with them in my life has taken a new tone. Lets just say, this could perhaps be likened to... an already very yummy mango cake having more and more layers added unto it. *sudden craving for mango cake! or durian cake! rite maybe i'm just hungry.*
Another thing would be my PL2132 presentation. that it went well with me presenting, with me choosing to want to see Him work and not take the easy way out. til now i'm still very much in awe. this probably doesn't mean anything to anyone else save for myself. but, well that's all that matters rite? That's why i'm a fervent believer, that my Jesus speaks and touches all His beloveds at their individual levels. I'm very glad that i chose to trust Him and take this step of faith. Even then, i gotta say, thank you Jesus that You gave me the courage to take this step.
Don't understand rite? Don't matter. Jesus understands. :)
My Jesus is very BIG. He really is. Pearlyn, look here, if You're down and u happen to read this entry, listen, Jesus is very BIG! Abba Daddy is very BIG! He will not let u down!
Alrite, think i shall stop here and try to do sthg about this weird state i'm in. Oh before which, i shall write in a last thing. i'm so amazed and awed regarding my working tmr.
Ok the thing is, i'd wanted to go to visit the children as they celebrate halloween tmr, plus i promised emma i'd try to make it. But later, i realised that sulin wasn't gonna be around. And so, i decided i might feel a bit weird there. Not working, but just being there. Hiya dunno la. maybe it's just me. heh. And so i kinda told God that it'd best if i could be there to work, instead of visit. And, just as i was feeling that way, sulin herself msg'd me last night to ask me if i could cover for her from 2-5 on fri, that is tmr. i tell u, at that moment, it was like, my goodness. of course i agreed without hesitation! i didn't even formally pray or anything. He just brought it to pass for me like that. Tell u, my God is not only a good God, but a very very awesome one for that matter! Praise God!
Okaes, it shall be the end here. til next time, whenever that might be. heh.