Oh!! i haven't shared about this yet!!!!! u noe yesterday? woooooohoooo... God is so good! Tsunami of Blessings after a stupid trial! see i was walking with pa at the carrefour fair downstrs... then we passed the Creative booth... and like i saw the newest creative zen neeon... and like i just made some enquiries about it and stuff... cuz it's really been on my mind to get myself an mp3 player... like, was thinking of an ipod mini pink... and in fact, i'd set my mind on a 3 mth plan already... such that i'd save $100 plus per month and i'll get it at the end of 3 mths... had given up on trying to find like cheap deals a long time ago... was always fruitless... haha
then rite, ya noe i was just so stuck at the booth la... and kept asking the guy a lot of qns... i'll come to talk more about this guy later... haha... i found out that the price of it is a bit lower than an ipod mini... and like it's 5gb not 4... and there's fm receiver... and like the LED lights are really kewl... yea... oh well... just as i was about to turn away from the booth... my dad suddenly just went sthg like "u pay 229 then i pay the rest k?" (price 329) whoa... that is quite a bit of diff la... and like i agreed la... so like we just made payment there la... whoa... and... my 3 mth plan just'd become reality la! and like the features are in fact better than ipod... do i hafta mention that ipod accessories have killer prices too? haha... yea... so, like... woohoooo..... ok speaking about the guy who served me... hmmm... he was so... nervous la... the entire time... i noticed his hands like shaking when he was like packing my stuff and getting my freebies for me etc... it's really odd to see a guy rxt this way la... thought only ppl like me do that... haha... i was so tempted to just tell him to relax but decided against it cuz i figured that might actually worsen things haha... but well, his svs was really good i'd hafta say... really appreciated it.. :)
Hmmm anyways, back to the main thing... it's like really God la... that i actually went for bs yesterday... like with pa and ma... cuz i was actually thinking of attending on fri (so that i can collect my bday present from debs... which lies another testimony as well.. haha..) ... where my dad won't be there to bless me.. haha...
hmmm... the deborah testimony... hiyo i'm kinda lazy to share now... haha maybe i'll share that some other time or what.. when i'm talking like real life... haha.. :)
Anw i'm just blessed la! :) Amen!!

hahahahahahaha.... hmmmm, i just came back from a super powerpack session of badminton, cum dinner, cum pool... hahaha.... so funny... hahahaha.... the 4 hour badminton was with jason, zhiwei, ermm.. guo qing, clifton, gwen and myself... oh later jason and zhiwei played with enghong and meiyun too... so odd... between the 4 of them there's really a lot of tension leh i sensed... wah... especially when jason was talking to eng hong later... i just felt that i couldn't stand like a metre nxt to them... tension and hostility was subtly obvious... obviously subtle... whatever... hmmm... so i always maintain my stand... it's not good to get involved in like committee stuff... conflict is so bound to arise... even between real nice people individually... hahha... so, i shall continue being my semi part time involved member... haha...
anyways... yea i was talking about badminton... whoa... when the 4 guys played.... whoa it was like.... whoa... haha.... they were super good la... haha and when my poor brother was playing with me and/or gwen.... haha... i knew there was just no kick for him... esp when playing with me... hahah... rephrasing what he said, the ball hardly crosses back to his side... hmph! haha...
hmmm, ok after the super siong badminton episode, we bathed, and jason gwen clifton and myself went over to bukit timah mkt to have dinner... ooohhh satay beehoon... yummyumm! haven't had that in a while... at first clifton was so... hmmm... shy? yea cuz he didn't exactly noe my frens... but later on... oh well i think he loosened up... esp during pool! hahahaha... that was when it really was so gao siao! like... all of us couldn't stop laughing la... like at all the silly flops we'd make... it was really funny... and like we were talking about this jaw drop issue... super funny... i think i'm just so blessed to noe the both of them... they're so nice... and interestingly funny... hahaha... and like i was just so free with them... free to behave in my very childish ways... haha which was a bit embarrassing.... haha but who cares! haha... Praise Jesus la! i'm just having so much fun in the hols! always so! and more to come! Ooohh and i'm serving this sun... ok a bit of an overload... but well... God is good! and i have an anionting with children! so instead of being drained further, i shall be refreshed by the kiddies!!! Amen!
Hmmm... ooohh and i can't wait for the chalet to come nxt wk... think it's gonna be fun! :D

Lord, You ARE amazing! really... i am just so blessed by colin's sharing over the email... so blessed... Lord, even as i feel that i've failed so utterly, Lord i still can live this life of Your grace... because You don't judge me... and in Your eyes i'm still Your precious Pearlyn... in whom You're well pleased... Lord... such amazing Love, amazing grace, that i just don't fathom... i'm so in awe of You!

Lord, u noe what, i really feel very very condemned now.. like... sigh... i thought i'd had things all worked out, i thought i have got it altogether now... but Lord, i'm so wrong... i'm still such immature Pearlyn, so weak, so in need of You Lord... Lord, i see no difference, no difference at all, as in i was 17... Lord, why Lord, did he hafta come back into my life... Why Lord, am i so so so mean each time i see him... Lord i am so so afraid to face my past Lord... so so afraid... that sense of insecurity... that sense of... guilt... that sense of... being so lost and confused... Lord, it just tears me down Lord... You noe, each time i see him, i just feel like i gotta put up a front, a facade, and not be who i really am... it's just so..... the jitters i feel before meeting him.. and then the all too natural facade of mean-ness (if there's such a word) when i do meet him... words can't even describe the condemnation that i'm feeling now... And like, it really doesn't help that he was trying to be nice, and like i just found myself hurting him all over again... Lord!!!!!! i just can't help it! Lord, i can't Lord... i can't face this Lord... this turmoil, torture... Save me Lord... from just all this...
i just wish that ya noe, we never got together yrs back... maybe things would have turned out differently... maybe.......... a thousand words, my heart yearns to say, yet when i speak, emptiness sets...
to him if he's reading this... i just wanna really really say i am so sorry... and that i...... i don't even noe what to say to u... i really can't go beyond "sorry"......

I love You Lord, more than Life! as when i feel insecure, when i know not what i should do, You are With ME!! Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me! You restore MY soul!!! Words just can't describe how I love You so! just because You love me first!

praise Jesus! well well... i haven't been here a while now! been so fruitfully busy! praise Jesus! hmmm, i just returned from the children church pk 2 camp yesterday... was so so beat when we broke camp... yet, in my heart, i was so filled and so joyous!! My, i really really really love the kids man... i learnt and received so so much more than i gave! like, God is just so so faithful! even as i didn't go to camp with an expectant heart or anything, He just blessed me so much! Praise Jesus!
Wow! ya noe, during the P&W and ministering time, it just came so strongly upon me, that nomatter the age, the need for Jesus is always the same... like, as i was worshipping together with the kids, His presence filled the hall so strongly! and like i just felt like i was going to God as a kid, at their level, and like along with all of the children, i too, am as a child, as His child... and i just go to Him with such a tender heart, telling Him, "Lord i need You so much! to be president over my life" Ya noe, it was just so precious! and like, as i was just in His presence, His all familiar voice and presence just overwhelmed me so strongly, and i just felt that He was just telling me to be still, and just know that He is God! That amidst the trial that i was facing then, He was taking care of it! (in which i saw the victory today! Praise Jesus!) yea... whoa, and the preaching by deacon dan, whoa it really did bless me so! psalms 23. Being such a well known psalm, that almost everyone can just recite without difficulty, the way He expounded the text, it really did shed new light for me! even as a teacher! whoa! He is just so awesome!
Ok, that was the receiving part for me from the word and ministering!
and then, the kids, wooohooo.... they just blessed me so much! like allinda, she's not even in my group or my room, yet she was just so so sweet... really blessed me so much!
there's just so much to say! I was so proud of my team Daniel!! so proud!!! the first day of games, they lost like all the games except one, but on the 2nd day, they picked themselves up, and like won all the outdoor games except one! it was so amazing to see them just all have fun together! and like although i was sabo'ed for ALL the games that a teacher from each team needed to play, i had so so much fun alongside! like, as i said to many before, it is just so not Pearlyn to be sporting or anything during games and all... Really God man!! that He just put this sense in me thru bengen as well as this PK camp! OOhhh!!!
Oh and then the skit! i was so amazed that they actually won third!!! so proud of them!!! with like only one prior rehearsal, and many impromptu scenes, whoa! i am impressed! especially so with the boys, like shaun... ya noe, though he always gives attitude and things lidat, i still see SO much potential in this boy! so much! lyk, giving so much suggestions in the participation of the skit, and like really appreciating my note to him on the last day, all these just really melted my heart. And really reminded me so much of Clinton, as it just supernaturally made me feel an outpouring sense of love toward my brother.. my goodness... :)
Oh and Marcus and Samuel... despite some problems they gave, i saw such kingship in Marcus, and such caringness in Samuel! these kids really made me see just Christ in them! Whoa! Oh and the girls, boy were they sweeties!! i just can't emphasize further! All of them!!!!!
I am really really so glad that i was given such an opportunity to serve in this camp! ReallY! Thank You Lord, for every good thing You're doing in my life!!!