i had the strangest and most absurd dream today. Just before i awoke. It Is Really Absurd. (in which i'm so not even contemplating to share about) ha! But well, i did learn something from it though; which re-establishes my conviction about some stuff. More so from the tremendous sharing from Jo just now during the 'dinner' with the cg babes. I specially highlight 'dinner' because i ended up paying an amount which i can have a good filling dinner just on desert. Simply because i was too full from the extremely late lunch to eat any staple food. NOw pondering on which simply makes me appear... well... unwise.. ha!
Anyways, whilst on the way to holland v just now, (in which i was slightly more than a bit late haha) i had a very precious time of fellowship with my Daddy God. And He just really brought me to the awareness of how my life is taking such a turn even at this very point of it. The beauty in me that He is just emphasizing, flourishing, and making even myself realise. That i am not just called to a life of ordinary-ness. That my life is special, unique, and that i'm not someone of no talent. It really blessed my heart so much to realise that for one of the first times in my life. For years, i've lived life just being very ordinary, with little talent to show apart from the apparent keen-ness in my academics. And even so, i was never happy with those 'so-called' achievements, not forgetting that it only did hold in the earlier years of my life till JC. Each time then, i'd be the pride of my family in comparison with my brothers, the epitome of success in the family. Nonetheless, deep in my heart of hearts, i did not see myself even close to that. Yes, in terms of academics, i far excelled my brothers. Yet in terms of the other aspects of life, natural strengths, i so envied my brothers, especially Clifton. He was capable in leadership, had an excellence in sports, and just everything you could ask for. It never did come to a point of jealousy, in which i praise God for, but i certainly did wish i was more talented. I woulda always shunned at the most dreaded question from my peers. "so, what do u like to do in your free time?" that, never did fail to put me into condemnation cuz there was really nothing in particular that i enjoyed, and found pleasure and satisfaction doing. The furthest i ever did go, in search of an excuse for myself, is simply "oh, i enjoy spending time with my family" I still do, don't get me wrong, and i find that such a precious ministry. Yet, apart from which, there was really nothing in deeds that i was capable in doing. Ok i believe i have gotten my point across and so i shall not continue going in circles, as i feel that i am now haha!
Well, yea i was just talking about how i was given the honour to spend time with my King rite, haha and i drifted so far! Anyway, ya i was just brought into the consciousness of how i'm realising so many of my dreams now, and how He's just showing me of talents and interests i never did discover of myself; how there is a spirit of excellence in certain things that i do, how people just come up to me to tell me that i am talented in a so and so area etc. Praise God! Not only that, i TOTALLY enjoy the things that He has placed in my hands. T.O.T.A.L.L.Y. i realise that i'd been so focused in the wrong things previously to a point that it brought me so much disappointments and dissatisfaction. But He is just now restoring everything, showing me how i am a person with keen-ness in the areas of aesthetics, and not... whatever opposite of it (can't find a correct word haha). And He's just opening so many doors and avenues whereby i could explore and excel so much in these talents. I marvel at His love for me.

rite. i am currently a bored, and highly contradictary Pearlyn. feeling so much of an urge to nap, yet am very obviously bothered by the fact that i'd just eaten my lunch, and the common, all-too-familiar saying that it is NO GOOD to sleep right after a meal. A full one especially for that matter. Oh darn. And so, i'm just lingering around the house, wandering, wondering what ought i do now. My fingers are itching indeed, yearning for the very tempting keyboard inside pa's room. but ah well, i'd been fumbling on it the entire morning, well since i was awake at least, that i feel that it is totally not acceptable to start again this soon. Of course i'm also made aware that pa is taking his nap now, after his repeated failures from persuading me to take mine and stop disturbing him *grins* ok he did success in the second part afterall, when i finally decided that it was pointless rattling non stop when he was obviously keen on getting some desired sleep.
So, i'm brought back to square one now. i am bored.
Oh well, since this is MY blog, i realise i am at the liberty to write anything, rubbish or not, in here. and the fact that i am so lazy to lift up a pen makes me wanna type here even more. I have indeed realised, that typing IS so much friendlier than writing. At least when i type, noone is able to see my hideous messiness, which i myself can't stand at times, and try to deduce my character based on a couple of strokes of the pen. How dumb is that? They have a name for that field of 'study'. Lemme see, something that starts with the letter 'S' if i'm not mistaken. Ah heck, do i bother? I would go to the extent of saying that it is very interesting. but to say that i believe in it, well maybe not. Same goes with astrology, fortune telling and the like. It certainly so does not make any sense to let the stars and a couple of frauds dictate the nature of my life. My life is dictated by God and Him alone, and i am happy at that, thankyouverymuch.
Ooh suddenly a picture just flashed across my head. "me going to dine at a dim sum restaurant" O...K...! Hmmm... Movin' right along......
Now, what? rite. i do suppose that some form of more interesting content would do good here. And so, i shall attempt to expound more about God in my life here. What else is there to say? if u my dear reader are not concerned with that and perhaps would like some juicier topics like who's dating who, or *i dunno* any other thing apart from God working in my life, then, i'm sorry that i'd hafta disappoint. Ok here goes.
I am constantly living in such awe of His goodness in my life. I'd never dreamt that there'd be a day where i believed in this Saviour, much less make Him the Essence of my life. It has really come to a point where i feel that it is so hard to doubt that He exists anymore. When i do get the opportunity to share with anyone about my life, He always takes the centre stage. He is all which keeps me together, keeps me strong and going, even in the times of my trials. He is my everything, my substance amidst my emptiness. I am no longer like the rest of the dying world, crying out desperately for salvation from the viles of darkness. I cry, but i cry out to Him. I am not without trials. To be very real, sometimes i feel that the trials scream to overtake me, to just devour me. But each and every time, my God is faithful in line with His promises that He is my victory.
I'm ashamed to say however, that i am often not faithful in many things, in spending time in His word, and I'm so not a person of inummerable revelations all the time. Yet He loves me for who i am, and that is so precious. Because in the natural, many times i don't like the Pearlyn that i see. But because of His love, i can live life naked, real in front of my KING.
When my world threatens to crumble on me, I can just run into His arms of warmth. And He is always there to let me know once again how so He loves me. That amidst the horrendous reality of emotions that always tangle me and my heart, He secures me. I love You Lord. More than anything.
My purpose in living life, is only to show You in my life. Which i am and have. Praise You Jesus.

hmmm i just visited kenneth's blog, and got so inspired. Like, really, he is such a man of GOD, whose faith just moves mountains. And each time i feel not so good, i can always expect to feel better upon visiting his blog, and looking at the amazing things he shares about. Such a young yet mature heart for GOD.
It's like, i really really appreciate all my Kingdom friends. They're just so so amazing. and so different, from the people of the world. :) yaay!

ok i'm embarrassed to say this, but.... aiyoh that instructor is really like damn hot la! when he doesn't speak... haha... and like today he didn't talk a lot of rubbish so like... *melts* ...i like men of few words... seriously... haha...
hmmmm... anyways, today i went to gwen's place to learn piano.... Finally my dream come true!!!! like.... woohooooo.... God is good man!
Haha Hehe... and like we really talked a lot... ok i paraphrase... i really talked a lot... haha... well.. but really had such a blessed time with her lor... praise God... that like we could share with each other about GOd and everything... whoa!!! like... i nv dreamt that i'd have a close fren thru nus la... but really, Praise GOD!