a journey that i'm taking... a journey that noone could take for me... that i just have to hold on so close and tightly to my Lord...

it's like being blindfolded... where you know not what lies ahead and around you. In fact, it's so scary because the uncertainty heightens the fear of impending danger... constant wondering about what lurks beneath those folds...

the only thing that i then could depend on... is Jesus... His warm hand around mine... His gentle voice calming my nerves... an awareness of His presence... that He is protecting me, shielding me, defending me from my enemies...

crap i'm damn scared... Jesus... be with me!!!

I've changed. I know. I feel it too. Circumstances. Things that have happened over the year that has forced me to change. To me, it's a force to grow. Yet to some, it's just simply, 'you've changed'. Some celebrate and rejoice with me; some make me feel uncertain about myself. At the end of the day, even if we thrash things out will it result in a change back to who I was before? I'll bet a no for an answer. Call it irreversible. Maybe.
What then shall I do? Shall I even attempt to do anything? Solidly, no. There will be more times, certainly, that I'll be thrown this in the face again. But if I attempt to do something about it each time it happens, I'll only end up worn and tired. So Lord, once again it is this. 'What can I do, what can I say, but offer this heart O God completely to You'. Fight my battles for me Lord. For my strength fails me, yet again.