Wednesday, December 22, 2004
My Pride is taken care of by Him in the most high!!!
We are the reason that He gave His life,
We are the reason that He suffered and died,
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give,
to show us the reason to live...
He is the reason to LIVE!!!
Praise Jesus! That's one of the songs we're gonna sing for carolling too... yaay! So nice...
Hmmm today i've got a lot of things to say... Hmmm i was supposed to meet E-leen and Xuehui today at 3 at Bugis; then before that i actually went down to Bras Basah Tecman to attempt to get a suitable present for my 'nova' Kim Seng.. It's this Angel Nova thing that Jo suggested, where we were each assigned to one nova, and we're to buy a present for that person... Hmmm... and i got.... a guy... oh man.... Really, Lord, what am i supposed to buy? I walked here and there and everywhere yet i still couldn't figure out wat to buy... Oh man... few more days only leh... Shoots... Ok anw, then later i met up with Eleen first cuz Xuehui was late cuz she had to pack her room... which makes me think hmmm.... m.a.y.b.e its time to pack mine too.... ok fine... It IS time to pack mine... but i'm busy... *excuses excuses* haha
Oh well, Eleen got a present for me... so sweet... i didn't exactly have anything for her... wonder if the bag could count cuz hmmm... i didn't collect money from her?? Oh well... Okok... With man, it's more blessed to give than to receive... haha well well...
Anw, we then shopped around, and she got a present for her weijie and her sister... yeps... then Xuehui came... ok that's so irrelevent... haha... Well as i like to say, there's a reason why this is MY blog haha....
K cutting the story short, later on Xuehui and i parted with Eleen and left for Mackenzie office for carolling practice... Oh before continuing... I hafta mention, that Xuehui got me sthg too... so sweet.... k later i'll take a snapshot of the both their presents and upload haha... oh well i'll just do it now haha... wait... :)
Ok this is Xuehui's one...
Not very clear but well that's the best i could do without a tripod under this kinda lighting hmm..
The next one below is Eleen's present...
Yeps, she said she gave me this cuz i don't own any bag like this... :)
Ya anw yea back to my 'story'... Ok we then went for carolling prac... i wasn't feeling exactly too well so me and xuehui shared a bowl of porridge... Ok from here's the part that i wana talk about more...
Hmmm its where i kinda got upset cuz irene made a not so nice remark to me... something like why my face lidat.. i look like i'm in pain or sthg lidat... that made me like really think.. what's wrong with me?? Man, i tell u, immediately my esteem went down to a near if not total zero... then i began to be very self conscious... thinking like omg what's wrong with me, what's wrong with me.... Shoosh... And also hence why i felt VERY uncomfortable in the room initially... and i actually felt like omg will the whole rm be looking at me? WHAT'S WRONG?? And, my pride really made me not dare to ask anyone if there was anything wrong with my face or sthg... Like oh shit, wat if there's really sthg wrong???
My goodness... How man's self consciousness can bring a person down... Hmmm even till now i still have absolutely no idea why she made that comment... but it certainly did upset me quite a bit... though she probably didn't mean it at all... Hmmm Pearlyn Pearlyn, u're still ever so self conscious... Lord i really need help in this area Lord.. If i'm gonna continue bring so mindful of how people see me, i'm gonna ruin myself Lord... Really, it's so easy to say that my security is in the Lord, and that He's everything and i'm nothing... but seriously, do i really really believe it with all my heart? Answer now is clearly no... But my trust is in the Lord, that's for sure.. and i trust, that this kinda pride in me will soon diminish, and that the only person whose comments i'll care for is Jesus'.. That the rest won't matter... Praise God, i noe that by my own, i'll probably try till the cows come home yet to no avail... But thru Him all things are possible!!!
Oh anw, praise God still, cuz just after a while i got back into ok mode... somehow... and i really enjoyed the session... Praise Jesus... Anw, Lord whatever the comment was about, You correct the possible flaw Lord... :)
Okaes... Heee now i'm happy... praise Jesus...
Hmmm oh dawn brought back a present for everyone from Israel... so nice... communion cup.. heee took a photo of it too haha... it's really great to have a camera handy all the time... though i'll hafta return soon... But well, supernatural favour for a camera of my own!!! Haha.. ok back to the communion cup...... ......
Yeps... so cool rite? the other cg (jason's cg) said that the ribena tasted really bad in the cup that Jason got them cuz like the cup was dirty or sthg... haha... So hmmm i'm wiser than to drink from it haha... :)