hmmm... i'm gonna try to complete this blog entry without using too much time... (ie without losing too much focus haha) Well well... today... i went to the birdpark together with my beloved papa... to take pictures... actually was supposed to go for lunch with lydia, joan, charis, and jia... but well they didn't update me again so i decided to just go with pa lor... later felt a bit bad when joan called me... hmmm... anw, it was really such blessed time with papa... i really really love it, when i go out together with him... always makes me feel so... loved... hmmm sometimes he says i've changed to become no longer that little girl, but well, i noe i still am... and in case Pa u're reading this, i still am your little girl and will always be... :)
anyways, hmmm the birdpark... took a lot of shots... but well, quite disappointed with most of them.... esp when i uploaded to the computer... then so xing tong when i had to delete so many... all my efforts... esp when i took so many in the fear that the birds will peck at me... haha... they were all so close la... the parrots... after i came out of that place... i tell u, i had to recover from shock... haha...
hmmm... well, i had a good time... only hindrance perhaps, i was disturbed that i was starting school tmr... really... i hafta say, that i'm actually afraid to.. sigh.... my heart was just filled with, wat if i can't cope with the workload this sem? wat if this? wat if that? hmmm sometimes it's really easy to say i trust God and everything... but these fears are very real fears... and... hmmm... well it's ok... i noe it'll soon go away... cuz my Jesus is good... and He fights my battles...
and nomatter how i feel, nomatter how terrible things seem in my own little perspective, my Jesus sees a bigger picture... and all things are made beautiful in its time... since He brought me thus far, from an impossibility to even enter into NUS into a possibility to now fulfill my dream, what else can't He do?? Praise Jesus...
Hmmm... well moving rite along, just this morning, i was thinking, hmmm... shld i start journalling more on my written journal? yea... considered... esp after talking to daren last nite... realised it was a while since i really did that on a long term basis.... but...... hmmm then again, when i thought about it, i realised, that the period in which i journalled a lot was really the time when i was so sad and so down... and like, almost my entire journal was filled with sad memories.. haha i remembered, that at that time, haha when i was happy i felt no reason to write anything, unless i was like super duper happy... when i was sad, that was where i vented my anger and sadness and everything... hmmm really, those were the days... and i really thank God that He's made me a much happier person now, and really, now even at the littlest blessing He sends forth to me, i want to record it down, i want to be a testimony!! i want my life to be 'living to show the glory of God' in me and thru me... and i am so heartened when pple do see that in me!!! Hence, haha i'll just continue blogging... and hmmm... my journal, yea that's still gonna be where sad stuff go... but, it's not going to be much... and whatever i face, He'll eventually shine thru... in Jesus name amen!! Woohooo!!!
Ok this entry's preetty long... so i shall stop here.. haha... :)