hmmm.... i'm gonna try make this entry short cuz i'm gonna go out soon.... going SHoPPing!! which brings me to one thing... i need more time in a day!! Seriously, there's like 593545 things i wana do, and -5395357 hrs to do all haha... hiya, they are eating into my study time.... like, hmmm i was supposed to place that as my priority, and now i'm ending up treating that as though it's a secondary thing to do... no good Pearlyn...
hiya oh well............ anyways, i just wana talk abit about yesterday... was really a pleasant day and night for me... like in the day, i Finally went swimming!!! I miss the pool so so much... like during lg days, haha i remember i'd find all means to escape training.. haha... then like now, i'm just dying to go to the pool.... the evening sun, the nice lukewarm waters.... ooooh i love it... and like though i'm not like some excellent swimmer or wat, well well... who cares? that's really the best part... going swimming alone, nobody knows me... i can do what i want.... freely.....
That's the thing about growing up.. i get more and more aware and mindful of my every deed and behaviour sometimes... my public image... that, is so not fun at all.... has been, and still is.... unfortunately... putting up a facade, even when i don't want to sometimes... it just comes naturally............ sigh....
i love it when i'm free.... free to just be Pearlyn... be who i really am... be just the girl next door.... less than ordinary.... no pressure from the world, from the people around me... no pressure to be who i am not... no pressure to perform up to standards.... no pressure from even myself... which i feel i'm starting to exert just a bit too much....
When i see the lil kiddos boarding the bus after their school ends, i feel so happy, so light for them... they're so pure, so innocent..... black is always black, white is always white.... i look at them, envy them, and wish that places could be swapped....
I see the Potter's hands at work... each and every child.... all telling a story behind them... the Potter moulding so carefully and intricately... as they just walk on a life that could yet be foretold... each of their lives are gonna be different... And each of them are gonna impact the world in their own special ways... small, yet significant....
A smile thus put on my face.... amidst the tint of gloom i feel... At least when i feel all the pressures around me.... i still could go back to my Potter.... and just be who i am... for He made me, and He says i'm beautiful.... and i could just bare myself to Him... every flaw, every imperfection... He takes it all......
Shoots how did i digress?? now, this enty's kinda super long... hahaha... irony irony... okok... i also wanted to talk about seeing stars yesterday... i'd never dreamt, that i'd actually view the stars like that, and be told of the constellations and mysteries to it.... it was such a wonderful night.... so nice.... really really blessed.... of course to have my beloved sister XH, and also to have a very nice friend Daren... :)