I'm in a dreamy mood... hmmm... was just looking thru my ac annual... nostalgia... lots of it... i really miss all the times spent there... much joy... yet... much regret... wat could i have done anyway? if only... if only... how initial fond memories can instead lead u to think of the flip side of the coin... how when u look at self u see nothing worth... nothing at all... and u see that even as u want to do sthg about it there's only so so little u can... rather, there's nothing u could do... to control, to change... u start thinking about all the better choices u could have made... if given one more try, would things change? maybe not... things beyond control... wat is popularity? it passes away. and after that where does that leave u? nowhere. lost. in transition. in a stage where u just don't noe wat to do... a strange awakening. which makes u think again whether u really ever possessed wat u thought u had... ur whole perception of urself... comes crashing down in an instant...
Praise be to God... for He provides that which does not pass away.. Joy in Him.. that is eternal... that is not temporal... Simply because nomatter what happens, He still is walking alongside together with me... I can simply go boldly to His throne of grace to obtain mercy, more than sufficient grace to carry on... to draw comfort from... He secures me in His arms... and when i find myself in His arms, nothing else matters. Even when my world threatens to crash on me, nothing matters. I just want a little longer.. a little longer.. just to feel His warmth.. His ever loving embrace... for it to never ever end... That alone is enough... enough to tell me... that everything will pass away.. And in His Love i can conquer all...
My Jesus... He romances me... My perfect love... Perfect with a huge capital P!! He's all i ask for in a man... ALL... He's the most glorious, most perfect, most handsome and charming of them all!! I am lost in His love!